“Should he call her back to Prague for good?  He feared the responsibility.  If he invited her to come, then come she would and offer him up her life…But was it love?  The feeling of wanting to die beside her was clearly exaggerated:  he had seen her only once before in his life!  Was it simply hysteria of a man who, aware deep down of his inaptitude for love, felt the self-deluding need to simulate it?  Looking out over the courtyard at the dirty walls, he realized he had no idea whether it was hysteria or love…He remained annoyed with himself until he realized that not knowing what he wanted was actually quite natural…We can never know what we want, because, living only one life we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.  Einmal ist keinmal, says Tomas to himself.  What happens once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all…” 

“Our day-to-day life is bombarded with fortuities or, to be more precise, with the accidental meetings of people and events we call coincidences…is not an event in fact more significant and noteworthy the greater the number of fortuities necessary to bring it about?  Chance and chance alone has a message for us.  If a love is to be unforgettable, fortuities must immediately start fluttering down to it life birds to Francis of Assisi’s shoulders…Guided by a sense of beauty, an individual transforms a fortuitous occurrence into a motif, which then assumes a permanent place in the composition of the individuals life…Without realizing it, the individual composes his life according to the laws of beauty even in times of greatest distress…It is wrong then to chide the novel for being fascinated by mysterious coincidences, but it is right to chide the man for being blind to such coincidences in his daily life.  For he therefore deprives his life of a dimension of beauty.”

“Tomas did not realize at the time that metaphors are dangerous.  Metaphors are not to be trifled with.  A single metaphor can give birth to love.” –Milan Kundera

I literally picked this book off my roommates shelf the other day and it is quickly becoming one of my favorites.  The movie is great, but the book is pure beauty.  The above is a butchered and repatched version of some of my favorite parts so far that spoke to me at this point in my life.

Okay, even though i have many opinions about politics and social issues, i tend to keep them to myself on this blog because it is reserved primarily for updating my family and friends about my life in Los Angeles.  Because we tend to differ on almost every issue that could ever be discussed, i keep those issues out of here with respect to them, whether they are reading this blog or not.  But I have something to say.  Now, because it involves the president, some would see this as a political piece, but i see it as a humanity piece.  It has come to my attention that there is a group of extreme, right wing, “Christian” people that have started a movement against the president of this country using biblical language that basically calls for his death.  I will quote exact scripture: “Let his years be few, let his position be given to someone else.”  Sounds harmless.  This verse is immediately followed by Psalm 109:8 which reads “May his children become fatherless, and may his wife become a widow.”  The first part, Psalm 109:8, has been splashed across bumperstickers, t-shirts, aprons, and even teddy bears preceeded with the statements “Prayer for Obama” or “Pray for Obama.”  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that this verse has been completely taken out of context, and is being used in a simalar fashion to those that quote the koran completely out of context when they are calling for radical jihadist death to westerners. 

I was raised Christian, and not this radical version of Christianty.  Although i do not call myself a Christian today, I am both outraged and embarrassed by this deliberate display of ignorance and hostility by those who claim to know God and love others.  My father always asks “if Islam is a peaceful religion, and the ones who are calling for death to Christians are just extremists, then where are the peaceful Muslims, and why aren’t they denouncing this behavior and defending their religion?”  Well i am asking the same thing of Christians and this behavior.  Im not sure how long this movement has been going on, but this is the first i have heard of it.  Maybe no one cares, and they just see these people as crazies and harmless.  Or maybe it’s a new story, and no one has had the chance to respond yet.  Lets hope its the latter.  No matter what your political leaning, you should be outraged by this.  All it takes is one “crazy” to take this call to “God” as they see it, and turn it into what they think is their life mission. 

I support Obama politically.  There are, of course, some things he has done or is doing that i may not agree with, or he may not be doing everything i thought he was going to do the way i think he should be doing it.  But he is our president and in this country, to my understanding, we should support him.  We lift him up and give him support because he is our leader and he needs that from us.  It doesn’t mean we don’t dissent if we disagree, but we should not actively hope that he will fail, because that would in turn mean the failure of this country.  It seriously makes me sick what is going on, from these ridiculous parents protesting a visit to their childs school by the nations president; to this blatant call to violence by those who would call themselves Christians.  I may not be one, but i know great Christians who would not stand for this, no matter who the president is.  For God sakes, speak up!   

And don’t worry, i’ll be back to my boring daily life next time, i promise

Daylight savings time has really fucked with my head today.  This day seems to be going on forever, which i should be thankful for because it is a Sunday, but somehow…i am not.

While doing laundry today i realized something, I have gotten really good at folding sheets by myself.

Well, here it is…Halloween, again.  I am at home on a crisp morning with Bella, chocolate croissants, and coffee.  It isn’t the same this year.  Halloween was the best when i was in Nashville with old, good friends frolicking in graveyards, drinking vampire merlot, and carving pumpkins to “Nightmare Before Christmas.”  This year, i am less excited.  Could it be i am growing older and the spell Halloween has always cast on me is losing it’s power?  Or do i just miss my old life, old friends, and old haunts?  Growing up is hard.  Living in a city you have yet to connect with is hard.  Missing those you love at a time that you have always held so dear, is even harder.  I wish i had all the money in the world.  Not because i think it will bring happiness, but so that i could jump on a flight whenever i wanted and see the people and places i miss so much.  Why is it that i am never content right where i am?  Is it the nature of your 20’s, or is it because i have made a series of wrong decisions that i should now make an effort to change? 

I will probably spend my day at the free SAG theatre or hanging with my friend Channing who just had a baby.  She needs a friend right now and maybe a hand with laundry.  I hope everyone has a fantastic Halloween and that you are spending it with great friends.  Happy trick-or-treating!

Ok, so i am constantly annoyed by the misuse and overuse of this term ”Xtreme” on products and countless other things these days, but in the case of the Six Flags ride “X2″…it is absolutely appropriate.  I rode this ride while i was at six flags this weekend with Alex and Siobhan, who were visiting from Birmingham.  It is a roller coaster, but to quote one of my favorite movies of all time, this was “a horse of a different color!”  You climb a hill in an individual seat that can rotate 360 degrees, plunge to the ground in a completely straight line, and even have fire shot at you while looping and spinning through the air.  It was single-handedly the most exhilarating thing i have ever experienced and 100% worth the two and a half hour wait we had to endure in the sun while watching extreme sport videos.  Other amazing attractions included The Riddler, Batman, ever classic non-looping Goliath, and Katsu…you know, the one where you are facing your impending death of plunging to the ground the entire ride because you are literally hanging parallel with the ground.  It was terrifying, but oh so fun!  And if all this weren’t enough, we finished the night out with the best Mexican food i have had in L.A. so far and margaritas at Don Cuco’s.

Today i woke up to heavy fog till about 10am, which was heavenly because it kept the temperature down long enough for me to pretend like it was fall.   I pulled recipes from Martha Stewart and caught up on laundry and cleaning, then cooked eggs with biscuits and gravy with some friends at 4:30 in the afternoon.  Now, Corpse Bride is on t.v. followed by Edward Scissorhands…i mean could you write a better afternoon?  I think not!

What a fantastic Sunday here in L.A.  My friend Channing, her mother, her 9-day old baby girl Elena Marie, and I ventured out to the Santa Monica farmer’s market for breakfast and produce.  It was a mild, sunny day today and i came back with some beautiful flowers for the house and some raw almonds from the “Nut Man.”  He informed me that even if you buy “raw” almonds in the store, they have still been pasteurized!  Well as you can imagine, i was appalled by this fact.  So, i bought some of his raw, totally UN-pasteurized almonds to snack on for the week.  After a hard day of cleaning i am chilling with some french onion soup and a mild headache.  Good news is, it’s the first one in weeks…and that is progress.

I just spent four fabulous days in the big apple visiting friends and enjoying fantastic food.  Sunday i got in around 9:30am to my friend’s apartment, let myself in, and slept till he got in from being out of town at a wedding.  We spent the entire afternoon just sipping coffee with his roommate enjoying the fall air breezing through the open windows.  Later, we walked to a pizza place and had some of the finest pizza i’ve ever had, and of course, beer.  We took a walk around SoHo and his neighborhood, the east village, and called it a night after sharing a late night glass of wine over a delectable ham and brie sandwich.  The next morning we walked down to 5th avenue and ran into a Columbus Day parade.  We met some friends at the NBC studios and took a private tour of the Saturday Night Live studios.  After a much deserved nap in the late afternoon, we walked to a restaurant called Frankies and experienced yet another fantabulous meal.  We shared a carafe of wine, gourmet cheese plate with walnuts, honey, and the greenest, most heavenly olive oil i have ever tasted.  I had the sweet potato and sage ravioli and Adam had meatballs stuffed with pine nuts and raisins.  For dessert we shared red wine prunes over marscapone cheese.  All in the fantastic atmosphere with beautiful lighting, looking out into the busy streets of New York at night.  We topped the evening off by watching Woody Allen movies till we fell asleep.  During the days i explored the Natural History Museum, The High Line, the Chelsea Market, and got lost around NYU.  On the final night, Adam and i went to dinner with our friend Logan Lin in China Town and had Peking Duck and Tsingtao.  It was a truly magical trip, for many reasons.  I think im going to have to make this a regular thing

I love the way my dog smells, especially her ears.  But since june, until this past Monday morning, i haven’t been able to smell her.  Not only that but i haven’t been able to breathe out of my nose and have been sneezing non-stop!  I went to an acupuncturist last week known as Dr. Kim (see previous posts) and after the first session i really couldn’t tell a difference.  But this time…it was a miracle.  He did more than twice as much as he did last time and i left his office still stuffy and feeling weary.  I am all for investing in my health in positive ways over popping loads of Claritin, but this was becoming expensive!  Then, it happened.  I got a full nights sleep.  No tossing, turning, weezing, or sneezing.  In the morning, i awoke to full passage of air through BOTH nostrils.  Now here we are on Tuesday night, still going strong.  I am so happy i can’t even begin to describe to you how much.

On a totally unrelated note…well, now that i think about it, it actually is related in that this too makes me very happy…you should all watch GLEE on FOX tomorrow night.  Not only is it the episode that i believe i am appearing in, BUT it is an incredibly entertaining, heartwarming, hilarious show.  Also, someone i work with recently turned me on to a new band.  Bon Iver.  I will attempt to describe how i felt when i put it into the c.d. player for the drive home from work.  I was literally entranced.  It was a spiritual experience, riding down the freeway, staring into the bright glow of the red lights in front of me.  I did’nt even care that it was taking longer than usual to get home, i was actually thankful.  Me.  Riding in my little church on four wheels down the 405.  Blissfully happy, (and yes there were tears) stuck in rush hour traffic, and totally unphased.

Overall i’d say this hiatus was pretty successful.  Some rest and relaxation and a much needed trip to Disneyland and out of town for the day.  The only downside to Disney is that they were decorating for Halloween and two of my favorite rides were closed: Space Mountain and The Haunted Mansion.  But we got to ride Indiana Jones multiple times so that made it all better.  Then yesterday i went up to a little winery south of Santa Barbara and did some wine tasting with my dear friend Channing, who is about to have a baby, so for her it was more like wine spitting.  It was so nice to get out of LA and drive up the PCH just gabbing about babies and girl stuff.  I bought some wine and we ate at a little seafood place across the street from the tasting room.   I hope to make this getting out of town stuff a regular weekend thing.

Am i an odd or really old 26 year old if id rather stay home and watch movies on a Saturday night, than go out and paint the town red?  Either way, here i am spending my evening with Georgia O’keeffe and the cast of Mad Men…happy as a clam.

I visited Dr. Kim yesterday, an accupuncturist in Beverly Hills.  We discussed why i was there and my medical history and then he checked my pulse in various places on my hands and wrists for a good long while.  We did this test where you hold an object, a kind of food, vitamin, or herb, in one hand and then put your thumb to your first two fingers of the other hand and hold tight.  He will try to pry your fingers apart.  If the object is positive for you, then you will be strong and he cannot pull them apart.  The opposite will happen if the object is negative for you.  It was the weirdest sensation going from super strong one second when i held something like yogurt or beef, to literally not able to hold my fingers together the next second when in possesion of red beans or chocolate.  This whole philosophy is based on the fact that everyone is made up differently, he calls this different constitutions, and that food has a different effect on different people.  Therefore, what may be a power food for me, could inevitably make another person very weak or sick.  It is super interesting and although i didnt know anything about constitution medicine, i have always believed that illness can be treated or avoided by changing diet.  After this he did some acupuncture on me for my allergies.  It wasn’t the kind you see in movies where you are lying on the table with these long needles sticking out of your body.  He had a little thing very simalar to that stick that diabetics use to take their blood sugar.  The needle just went in and out about fifteen times in each spot.  Quick and painless, i didn’t really feel a thing.  After this was all finished, he gave me a few more things that i cannot eat ,that is if i want to get rid of my allergies and break-outs.  Among them were two of my favorite things, beer and coffee, and the list went on to include pork, shellfish, red beans, egg whites (although baked things with egg in it are ok, thank God), kombucha, melon, and berries.  He did say that it could get longer as we go on and see how i feel, or some of the items could go back on the good list too.  It all depends on how i feel.  So, i do not take this as fact yet.  I am going to try it and see how it goes.  If my belly goes away, my skin clears up, and i can breathe again…I’ll definately become a believer.  For now, i’ll stick to Maker’s Mark and wine.  At least he didn’t take away my beloved cheese