Monthly Archives: June 2008

I wrote this 5 days ago, but…

So, I am writing this at work (which is totally illegal except that I’m writing it in Word and I’ll just copy and paste it later.) because I am so freakin’ tired of making phone calls and sending emails.  I have been doing it for two weeks, all day long, and I am damn tired!  Work is good though, I just have to be patient until my checks actually contain commission.  The environment is pretty fun, there are some really positive people, and for a 9-5 type job it isn’t that bad.  It still feels like working for “the man” half the time, which I hate, but it is ONLY TEMPORARY…I just have to keep telling myself that.


So, I only have two more classes left of my 6 week cold reading/auditioning class and I am very sad.  I feel quite accomplished and I have learned a lot, but I could go every week forever, I swear.  It is the only day a week when I feel truly like myself, and when I drive home, I roll the windows down, blast the music, and feel like I am taking steps toward my future.  In class, I care, I listen, I want to soak everything up like a sponge, and after we have worked I feel so alive and invigorated.  After next week, I won’t have that pick-me-up to look forward to in the middle of the week and it is going to be hard.  He has a scene study class that I am looking into taking, but not for a while I’m sure.  I can’t take classes forever, sooner or later I have to get out there and see what I can do.


People ask me of L.A., “so do you love it out there?”  I don’t really have an answer.  First of all, I feel like I haven’t even seen half of it yet.  There are so many restaurants, bars, coffee shops, movie theatres, parks, trails, neighborhoods, festivals…the list goes on, that I haven’t experienced.  Part of this is due to the fact that I have been eating tuna mac, and peanut butter and jelly for what feels like weeks, and lack the funds to do things in L.A. like go to dinner for example.  But a lot of it is because I have feel very paralyzed.  When people hear that I just picked up, packed my car, drove here and started a life they are so amazed.  They think it’s brave, crazy, unbelievable, so darn cool…but really it wasn’t even a choice.  It was only a matter of when.  But now that I am here, I feel like I can’t do anything.  There is so much to do and see, (not to mention I have a career to get off the ground all by myself!) I don’t know where to start.  It is like standing at the base of Everest, staring upward, and wondering “which foot should I use first?”  I feel heavy because of it.  But, the good news is, this is what I had expected from the beginning.  I knew that it would be like this.  No fun, for quite some time.  And truly it isn’t always bad.  On Saturday night I went to Santa Monica Pier with my roommate Chris, his sister, and some of her friends and simply walked around and enjoyed the ocean breeze and some beer.  It was one of the best nights I have had here so far.  So it isn’t all bad, don’t worry mom.  But I know that this is just the beginning of the long adjustment period that I am going to go through.  As will every person who moves here to do what I am doing, or want to do.  People are right…what I did was brave.  I am brave.  Now comes the real test…


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$5 dollar bills, ya’ll

So, gas is almost to five dollars a gallon here!  Shitty, i know!  I have been away as you can see, because i started my new job and there has just been no time what so ever.  I don’t even have much to say today other than, i am depressed and broke.  Yesterday was a good day, training went well and i had to “roleplay,” (no not that kind!) with my two supervisors.  They both said i did really well and that i would start on the “up’s” system, making commission, on thursday.  Today is my day off and i am going to sell my clothes for money, becuase like i said, i am broke.  It’s depressing when you cant save any money what so ever, it makes me feel really unstable.  Not to mention one of my roommates is accusing me of stealing her tupperware.  yes, i said tupperware. 

On a  more postitive note, i really, really…really love my acting class!  The teacher is really down to earth and knowledgeable on the business.  He tells it like it is, but has no doubt in his mind that we can succeed if we work hard.  The ones who do not succeed just think its too hard, or there are too many people out here to compete with, and they give up.  Well I will not give up!  We break down scenes and analyze them and he teaches us how to look at them throught the eyes of a director.  This week we had to “know what we are selling” in terms of our headshots.  We had to go home and cut out pictures of actors that we look like or that we could play and put them on construction paper.  Know the artsy, crafty kindergartener in me was sooo excited, but you  might be asking, what for?  sounds like a pointless assignment.  Well the point was to know how you are percieved by an audience or say, by a casting director.  Am i the girl next door, lawyer, school teacher,  prostitute with a drug problem, welfare mom?  What do people see when they look at my headshot, and is that what i want to be selling?  I will have some headshots soon, but this will be a good excercise to do before i cross that bridge.  Im off to sell clothes and buy a couple of magazines and some $5 a gallon gas!  God i love California!


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“every breath you take…”

 This is what i hear in the background as my best friend, her friend from Canada, and her entire family sing along to the lyrics while watching Don’t Forget The Lyrics on t.v.  We are really just waiting for the Simpson’s to come on.  So I have about five minutes to post a short update. 

I GOT THE JOB!!!  I got the job i was interviewing for at Equinox Fitness, so I am officially a sales person at the Woodland Hills location.  I begin training tomorrow morning for a few days and finish up my schedule at Urban and hopefully i will finally be making enough money to pay my bills and I can stay in Los Angeles.  I am in San Diego today but have to drive back in about an hour.  I came down to celebrate Rena’s birthday early because she will be out of town on her real birthday.  Yesterday we just walked around downtown and went to this fabulous used bookstore were Rena found some books on philosophy.  I found a great collection of Ibsen that wasn’t very expensive, but alas, I am trying to save money.  Hopefully it will be there when i come back.  Today we packed a fabulous lunch of homemade hummus, cucumbers, tomatoes, snow peas, sharp cheddar cheese, turkey, avocado, watermelon and feta cheese (yes these two go together) and various crackers and hauled our cookies (oatmeal and chocolate chip to be exact) to the beach!!  It was a beautiful day and only about 70 degrees so we laid in the sun listening to Arabic music on ipods and reading books.  The sand here is so beautiful.  It is gray and sometimes black and has sparkly pieces of gold, well i like to think it is, in it.  Some kids were burying themselves in the sand and when they got up and shook it all off, there was this gold residue on their skin that made it look like they had gotten a little crazy with some spray paint.  So cute!  After our relaxing day we came home to a fabulous cooked meal of shrimp pasta with asparagus and sun-dried tomatoes, french bread, and birthday cake from a local German bakery.  It was chocolate with this raspberry center, UGH-mazing, really!  I feel so lucky to have a friend like Rena who has such a wonderful family that always makes me feel at home.  Time for a two hour road trip and lots of Iron and Wine…in that order exactly.  Buenos Noches!

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