lovehate

I have a love/hate relationship with my days off.  I’m sure you can guess why…free time but not making money.  But i am feeling better today after a fantastic and suppotive email from a friend a short drive north of me.  Lately i have been feeling stuck.  I think i’ve figured out the pattern that i fall into.  If i do the same thing everyday for more than a couple of months, i start to lose my mind.  I have worked for seven, yes i said seven retailers, four gyms, and have had countless other temporary jobs.  Once im in a routine, then it’s time to leave!  There could be many reasons or this, but I am really not interested in the reasons right now.  I just want a change.  Luckily it is coming, in three weeks, and after an enlightning conversation with our first A.D., i have come to the conclusion that standing in is just not for me.  I have learned so much from this experience and i have memories that i will cherish for the rest of my life.  How many young, inexperienced actors get to watch some of the best in the business work everyday?  Not many.  And i came out of it with my SAG membership.  What will i do now?  I really have no idea.  I am sure ill have to do background for a bit until i find something that pays enough and can accomadate auditions, but i will find it.  It is time to make this happen,  and do what i came here to do.  L.A. is such a catch 22.  All the opportunity in the world is right next door, but it all costs money.  So you get a job to pay for it, then you don’t have the time to spend on classes, workshops, and all the other glorious things this city has to offer.  There is a method to this madness and dammit if i won’t figure it out eventually.  So in much the same way that i feel about my days off…i have a love/hate relationship with this city.  Right now i just want to get out.  But i know, this is where i must be.  If it would only rain…off to hike.  The only free thing you can do in L.A.

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