Monthly Archives: August 2009

all things are possible

A friend who i hold in high regard recently recommended this to me.  I am testing it to see what the universe might say.  You should give it a go too…i couldn’t hurt right?  What you put out, you get back.  I firmly believe this.  Everyone needs a little encouragement or words of wisdom from time to time so here is your chance.  I’ll keep you posted on what i recieve and how it affects my life :O 

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Why I listen to sad music when im sad

Rumi – Guest House

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

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Nothing, and now this?

His memory flooded my dreams last night.  I cried for what felt like…hours.  My brain expelling smells and sensations while my eyes expelled an ocean of tears.  I have no idea what triggered it.  I worked on my resume all day with a friend, went over some lines for an audition, saw a comedy show, and ended the night with a litte sushi and a friend.  I did not cross paths with someone who shares his name or looks like him.  I simply laid down for bed that night, and the memories came.  I did not recall the street he lived on, his dog’s name, who he lived with, what his favorite color was, what he studied in school, or what his mother’s name was.  These are facts.  Pain does not come from facts.  I was remembering the way he looked at me.  The way he smelled.  How he looked when he was really into his writing.  How safe i felt in his arms.  What i felt the first time i laid eyes on him in that black t-shirt.  I replayed our entire relationship, feeling every high and low all over again…so vividly.  I couldn’t have stopped if i tried.  Three years.  In one month it will be three years since he walked out of my life.  Since he chose her.  I know it was the right thing.  I do not wish for him back.  It just hurts.  Still.   To this day.  It hurts.

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