…I am updating my blog. I don’t really know why i hadn’t updated. I guess i have worked things out in my head instead of in the public arena. It’s a new year and i have a lot of small resolutions but the biggest one is to start utilizing my time better and taking care of myself. Now, when you take care of yourself, there are a few different levels you must attend to: Physical, emotional, and spiritual. On a physical level, i’m joining a gym and taking ballet. On the emotional level i have started back on the artists way, and am trying to get ahead of things before they begin to overwhelm me. I also have decided to be my own person and not seek the approval of others. Others could be strangers, friends, co-workers, but mainly it means my parents. For the longest time i have been so wrapped up in the approval of my parents. Everytime I’d get a job, boyfriend, or anything, I’d call my parents (namely my mother) to tell them and would always get the same response…something diappointing that didn’t live up to my expectations. In a way, that isn’t their fault. I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. The only person you can expect anything from is yourself. But, instead of taking what they would say with a grain of salt, I would let it get to me. I am not going to do that anymore. I know I am doing the right thing and that I am a good and valuable person, and if my mom can’t say that to me, well than that is just too bad. I believe it. Finally, we have spiritually. For me, that means going to more yoga and volunteering for something. Actors are self-absorbed, we don’t really have a choice. We run a business where the only product we sell is ourselves. Always thinking about how to do that is inevitable. Some actors are self-absorbed in the sense that they love themselves and think that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and make sure that everyone knows it; and others are just that way in the business sense. Look, it sounds weird, but I promise you, actors are the most insecure people you will ever meet, and the more self-absorbed they seem, the more insecure they probably are. So, to combat this feeling in me of being selfish I am going to volunteer for something so that I can focus on something other than my career for some time. I feel, too often, that I am not thankful for what I have, so this year I hope to be more thankful.
As far as an update in things that are going on…I have signed up for two workshops in March, a commercial one and a dramatic one with two different casting directors. I still want to sign up for an improv worshop at UCB and possible one more commercial workshop. I think my focus right now will be commercials. They pay really well and i have a commercial look so there is no reason why I can’t be successful at it. I am on the hunt for an agent and/or a manager. In my head, if i could get a manager, then they could help me get signed with an agent. It has been hard to find representation without any LA credits. The things I have on my resume (besides my degree, which i am personally proud of but people here seem to care less about) aren’t enough to show I have the experience to warrant representation. For now, I will mail out my headshot to as many agents and managers that i can and i will get myself into the section on actors access that shows your headshot to agents that are looking for new talent. That is really all you can do, put yourself out there…and wait.